Tried to post this earlier this week, but my internet connection was down. Giving it another try!
So… I’m a few days late. I pushed myself a little too far last week and my brain and body just shut down this weekend. I needed a long time out to regroup.
Friday night was a rough night. Mentally I was working against myself, overthinking things, doubting myself and any ability I might have, comparing myself to others (unfavorably, of course) and such. It was a hard night of painting. The painting wasn’t going well, the colors just weren’t right. At one point, Linda and I were talking and studying the painting and determined that the values of the cat weren’t right. Which mean I got to paint the undercoat all over again. But that was a good thing as it corrected something that needed to be fixed and I loosened up a bit in the process. The class ended on a positive note with me feeling much more confident than I had felt at the beginning. And yes, that’s yours truly posing alongside her creation. (Picture is courtesy of Kristen, another student in the class.)
I learned so much from this class. It was a good way to throw myself back into the oil painting again. And this time I really have vowed not to let it go. While I didn’t work on the cat this weekend, I forced myself to sit down tonight and mix up some paint colors. Then a little while later, after an impromptu visit from a friend, I sat myself down to start the process of painting in the fur. Linda warned us it would look and feel weird at first, but that as we continued the process, we would see it start to come together. Well, Penny is looking a little weird right now. *g* I can see a few spots where the values aren’t quite right and will fix that tomorrow. However, you can’t see it in the picture (sorry for the lousy iPhone pictures – I can’t find my camera) but on the right side in the dark patch of fur on her body, I started to fill in the hair a bit and I can see how it will come together.
I’m pushing myself to keep at it, to keep learning and playing and experimenting. It’s just little moments of fighting the fear of messing up or making a horrible mistake or just painting bad and doing it anyway.